Skype Arms Filmography

Movies we watched – no ratings! One-line reminders (some quality hints)

The perfect candidate Saudi doctor in unlikely role as a woman running in local elections
81/2: Fellini reflects on life and love
Dick Johnson is dead Keep your aging father alive by (comically) staging death fantasies
The edge of democracy Ongoing pre-Bolsonaro political crisis in Brazil
Danny boy : courtroom drama as Iraq war crime accused is challenged – who will win?
The vast of night Small town radio hams coping with unexpected UFO-type signals in 1940s
Spotlight Boston Globe solves child molestation crimes by usual (clergy) suspects
Charlie’s country Aging local coming to terms with unfamiliar and disruptive whitefella laws
Finders keepers Man loses leg in an auction – messy attempts at its recovery
Gates of heaven Bonkers pet cemetery documentary set in California
Cockroach In-your-face documentary on Hong Kong resistance riots
The dig Romance and archaeology on wealthy woman’s inter-war estate
Assassins Girls are set up to assassinate North Korean political figure, but were they?
Unforgiven Good Egg Clint Eastwood accepts one last bounty hunting mission to support his family
A man for all seasons Henry VIII vs. Sir Thomas Moore on sorting out future for church of England
Saturday night and Sunday morning  Gritty portrayal of 60s life and loves in Nottingham
The conversation 70s surveillance thriller for nosy but anxious spook set in San Francisco
Much ado about nothing Shakespeare drama of mixed up couples heading for happy ending
The Falklands play Dramatisation of events leading up to our Falklands triumph
The Conformist weak willed Italian man becomes fascist flunky
The Long Good Friday Faded 1970s crime boss figure out of depth in swinging London
The goalies anxiety at the penalty kick: wandering German goalie gets anxious
Ship of Theseus various individuals lose bits of themselves and so have to reflect on identity
Tower reconstruction of witness experience during rogue campus shooting
Nomadland woman loses everything: will it help to go on the road with nomadic community?
Some kind of heaven Florida retirement home bliss is not always what it seems
Underworlds dark futuristic journey through Europe in decline. As ever it was
A Certain Kind Of Death what happens to people who die with no next of kin?
Hell or High Water Road movie brothers rob banks to support pissed off wife
Rams Icelandic sheep farmer crisis
Rams Australian version of Icelandic sheep farmer crisis
Badlands young girl and boyfriend go on a killing spree, starting with own family
Bacurau Small town life in Brazil with evil developer  looming
Dune Galactic drama on a sandy planet
Rare exports – a Christmas tale  Santa arrives (with zombies) in Lapland: family challenge him
The Andromeda strain little biological aliens threaten the planet, starting in a US desert village
Power of the dog macho rancher gets into unwise (and steamy) engagement with junior
Dhoom 2 Mumbai-based adventure chasing international thief while singing and dancing
National theatre live – fleabag  Marathon one woman theatre show – look, no script!!
Calm with horses Gentle giant has trouble with over-demanding Irish hoods
King Lear Ancient British king loses it following domestic misunderstanding
Animal factory: nice lad turns bad under influence of oppressive prison culture
They call him Morgan: Jazz Great gets shot by wife
kabhi-khushi-kabhie-gham : Posh Indian family’s ups and downs, while singing and dancing
Wake in fright : Coin-tossing addiction leads to nice lad’s rampage with anarchic mates
Ashes and Diamonds: Cool post-war Pole messes up assassination
The fog of war: US secretary of state shares the Big Lessons he has learned
Disgrace: Self-destructive South African academic flees to join equally irrational daughter
Il Divo: Andreotti fingered as in the pocket of Mafia
The Inventor: Piercing gaze of silicon valley young women seduces venture capitalists
Babyteeth: terminal teenager falls for cool but nice drug dealer. Mixed-up parents not impressed
Mayor: good man struggles against Middle East madness
Ten Little Indians: The judge did it
The Last Bus: Tiresome but terminal old chap buses to Lands End to scatter sad ashes
My man Godfrey. Zany story rubbishing the 1930s US upper classes
Murder on the Orient Express. Who could have done it?  We all seem to have a motive…
La Grande Illusion Post WWI prisoner of war community finds tensions, harmonies, and grand illusions
Count on me: Troubled dude visits struggling sister (single mum) and scatters his trouble (with human touch)
Mr Death: Errol Morris doc on execution technology: specialist generalising wildly to Nazi gas chambers
Compartment no. 6 Finnish girl has troublesome encounter with male fellow rail passenger on way to arctic
Shanghai express Dietrich encounters lost love on train journey but reunion disrupted by sino-revolutionaries
My old school Reconstruction of 32-year old’s effort to get to medical school via school boy imposter caper
Animal Kingdom Hapless adoptee stuck in downmarket Australian Sopranos family is rescued by nice cop
The double 1984 world where unexpected doppelganger violates office and love life of our hero. He gets upset
This place rules Smug film-making reporter relishes the clowning Trumpian craziness of Capitol Riot eccentrics
RRR For 3 hours. Indian hero seeks acrobatic vengeance on ruthless aristocracy of colonialism. Plus dancing
Everything Everywhere All at Once Giddy Sino-American romp (cf Time Bandits) with impenetrable metaphysics
She Said New York journalists talking endlessly on smartphones in order to pin down Harvey Weinstein scoop
Shattered Glass Redemption movie at New Republic: exposing admired journalist who invents stories
Songs from the second floor Disoriented and disturbed Swedes act out despair in dark and surreal moments
The fire within Herzog tells the story of passionate (but doomed) volcano watchers. Much fire and larva
Punishment park Californian desert foot-slog by hippies – sentenced by normies, and persecuted by piggies
Wittgenstein The Great Man’s life filtered through the carnival of gay culture that is Derek Jarman cinema
On the beach Up Periscope – check post-apocalyptic radioactivity drifting towards hapless humans down under
Three minutes: a lengthening unknowing holocaust victims memorialised through a film loop
The Burial Hyperactive celebrity lawyer defends ageing white undertaker from nasty business predators. 
Seconds Shady company offers surgical identity change. But can it make his dreams come true?
Midnight Special Desperate Dad motors kid with SF eye disorder to urgent, uncertain destination (Dubai in sky)
Ronnie O’Sullivan: The edge of everything: Troubled snooker champion keeps winning.  But how?  But why?
Float On how and why men fly very lightweight homemade planes in order to win a prize
Delicatessen: Post-apocalyptic butcher oversees a circus of hungry lodgers (cf. ‘time bandits’)
The first film: Slightly obsessed film buff tries to determine if first projected moving film was shot in Leeds
Behind the curve: Flat earth apostles in the documentary spotlight
Scoop: Docu-Drama on how an unlikely interview with royal sex abuser was engineered
Les Diabolique: Tension, deceit, murder, horror (mild): two women, one man in 50s French school
Waking life: Trapped dreamer endures rambling wisdoms from eccentric strangers in animated world
The cook, the thief, his wife & her lover Title explains. Gambon carves a path of continuous mayhem and havoc
Synecdoche New York Self-destructive theatre director choreographs desperate descent and decay
The Gullspang miracle Norwegian family get confused by identity miracle (which is confusing)
God and Country: US Christian Nationalism widely illustrated but weakly explained
El Conde: General Pinochet was a vampire. Margaret Thatcher was his vampire mum. Story writes itself
The tailor of Panama Le Carre story serves as Bond satire. Harold Pinter unlikely presence in unlikely caper
Paths of glory WWI caring colonel argues for the lives of 3 trench squaddies unfairly court marshalled
The treasure of the Sierra Mardre Three optimistic gold prospectors start arguing. One goes over the top
Cold comfort farm Posh Young Thing sorts out hyper-rural relatives. Happy endings for all
Dead Man’s Letters Soviet post apocalyptic struggle played out in dank and miserable bunkers. Can’t end well
Mid-August lunch Spirited aging ladies descend overnight on flat of generous Italian bachelor
The coddling of the American Mind Undergraduates testify as victims to oppressive identity coddling
Our man in Havana Hapless and unlikely English chap recruited to spy – but then makes it all up
Bad day at black rock Man with a justice mission unnerves toxic locals in remote south west USA
Bad press  Native American local newspaper fights censorship threat from political elders
Liberation day Cult band documents improbable trip to North Korea but fail to liberate its people
Lunana: a yak in the classroom Disaffected teaching trainee comes of age in remote Bhutan posting
Byron: The troubled life and noble death of the first modern celebrity
Handling Unexpected visits from undead loved ones challenge the patience of (living) partners

Selected (popular with us) Short films

Long distance information: father and son troublesome mixup on phone
Who was the umbrella man: failed conspiracy theory for JFK in Dallas
Future vision of driverless cars: 1956 zany family go for futuristic drive
The lonely goalkeeper: Gunners legend thinks out loud
Ten metre tower: nervous swimmers sometimes dive
Yorkshire airlines: shameless insults directed at northern folk
Tim and Susan have matching handguns: and they are pleased with themselves
Danny Boy: Headless citizens of stop frame world
The evolution of Simpson’s animation: Bart and Homer through historical lens
North Korea: spooky inside vision
Happiest guy in the world: ..because he lives on ocean liners
A trip through NYC: but 100 years ago
Alien Gods: meet the Aetherius crowd
King Fury: trailer featuring angry street guys with guns and cars
Dodgy Dave: dad does trust building with indifferent kid
Road painting: how it gets to look good
An honest pre-flight safety video: chocks away!
Fish story: fish zoo in North Wales
Quiet videos: shivers down spine to soft-speaking sources
Wind: world with lots of it
Mark Molesley: Post match reflections of Aldershot manager
High windows: No-vertigo squidgy merchants
Cities in history: watch them grow
The rebranding of Tommy Robinson: is he not so bad after all?
Mulberry House: affectionate film of city life from nosey camera on top of building
Driving Test 1930s approach to testing drivers

Crook’s personal archive of recently (03/2022+) watched movies

Personal ratings only – no implication of objectivity

***** A truly Great Film
****  Very good (perhaps with minor faults/irritations)
***    Watchable – but with flawed features or pace
**     Film tries hard, should be good, yet disappoints
*      A truly dreadful film

Sunset Boulevard *****
Penniless screen writer accidentally lands in house of sad, lonely-but-rich silent era star, only to join her in his own vortex of self-destruction. Classic Hollywood Noir.

Notorious *****
Compelling Hitchcock treason drama with Bergman/Grant emotional tension serving as underplot for Claude Rains’ evil Nazi thugs plotting in Rio. Sharp camera angles (thankfully not spoiled with usual dumb music score). Brilliant ending rounds it off quickly.

Russian Ark *****
One-take (yet impressively long) film discretely exploring Russian national predicament and identity. First through eyes of a Hermitage museum wanderer.  Then climaxes with long viewer immersion in lavish museum party of Leningrad aristocracy

The ox-bow incident *****
Cowboy reported murdered. Rope-happy small town posse finds 3 likely killers.  But are they innocent? Human nature handled with style

Strike *****
1925 Soviet propaganda drama wherein grotesque capitalists resist discontent of oppressed workers – realised with extraordinary visual pace and invention

That obscure object of desire *****
Bunuel’s essay on desire – via a man colourfully recounting various punishing episodes in his relationship with a woman. Peppered with humorous moments of Spanish surrealism – including two actresses seeming to play the same woman

Story of a love affair *****
Investigations commissioned by a suspicious rich husband forces his wife to confront her murderous past – which is animated when former co-conspiring lover re-visits her. Antonioni’s original ‘lone-figures-in-a-landscape’ (1940s Milan in this case)

Key Largo *****
Bogart/Bacall angst as remote Florida Keys hotel gets as surprise guest the vicious Johnny Rocco and his gangster mates. Big storm (weather and human) ensues. Tension masterfully executed

Show me love *****
1990s Life as lived by sixth-formers in small, no-hope Swedish town. School peers suspect Jilly-no-friends is a lesbian. She is. A pacey, dense, funny, touching story ensues – brilliantly designed, delivered and resolved. Stupid title though

The Searchers *****
Shakespearian cowboy tale of two men’s 5-year search for young niece kidnapped by menacing injuns. John Wayne’s motives seeming more hatred of injuns than familial loyalty. But Utah landscape is the real star of this stylish yarn

Ninotchka *****
Rom Com with politics. Garbo laughs (but too pantomime once solicited). Stands way above its 1930s contemporaries for wit, style, acting and social commentary.

Providence *****
Family of characters move in and around each other (and time) as if anarchically choreographed and critiqued by boozy but dying novelist Geilgud father. Superb script, landscapes, and acting (bar one). Much drinking of white wine

Holiday *****
Intelligent and witty rom com satirising idle wealth of 1930s USA banking fraternity.  Grant and Hepburn on finest form

Grand Hotel  *****
Mashup of anarchic hotel character dramas centred on superb (pre-Hayes) Garbo-Barrymore-Crawford leads. A “nothing happens here” lobby observer shares our bemusement. Marienbad meets Marx Brothers.

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The Fallen Idol ****
1948 B&W British Noir-ish film with ace actors (kid can be irritating). Brilliantly filmed Graham Greene tale of innocence and betrayal in the claustrophobia of embassy/diplomacy world. Slightly limp ending but still watchable drama (with humour)

Vivre sa vie ****
The Film re-invented. Jean-Luc Godard acts out his fading relationship with Anna Karenina (probably helps to know this).  12 episode black-and-white Paris biography of call girl (avoid boring episode 11). All the trademark spontaneity of nouvelle vague: so expect the unexpected.

Hit the road ****
Iranian road trip by desperate family of four. Elder son is driven to the exit border while precocious kid brother creates an undercurrent of frenzied comedy (sometimes irritating). Converges on a  moving departure.

Limbo ****
Diverse group of (male) immigrants dumped on remote Scottish island. Troubled relations build around Syrian Gourd musician (he reluctant to play). OK, metaphors a bit heavy handed but still provocative. Plus the central biography is effectively lightened by much humour and great acting.

Now Voyager. ****
Mother-persecuted young Bette Davis (great!) sent on therapeutic cruise. Although perfect, the beau she meets is married. Brief Encounter? She struggles not to think of him. Yet he keeps showing up. But both are strong (and noble). And so everyone is happy in the end. Shamelessly likeable melodrama

Bande a part ****
Godard’s no-hope Parisian young men execute clumsy gangster caper, recruiting Anna Karenina as insider. Boredom and ennui played out in cafes and streets with charm and humour. But, inevitably, a doomed ending for some

La Grande Illusion ****
Renoir’s 1930s piece on WWI – exploring dissonance/resonance in human relationships across class/culture. Human predicaments – hope, loss, comradeship, courage, roll by. Interesting for political positioning, also modern film style. Strong character parts. Visual and narrative pace good

La Ceremonie ****
Reserved young woman appointed as maid to (modern) wealthy French couple – conceals her embarrassed illiteracy. Meets postwoman Isabelle Huppert (brilliant, funny), who is rather less reserved and somewhat angry. Host family comes out very badly

You can count on me ****
Abandoned mother/small son/rogue uncle try to navigate difficult times with well-meaning whimsy. Bit players circle round them fuelling their struggle with each other and life. Rom-com of the domestic sort, humour, and a bit of coming-of-age (for all concerned). Excellent casting. Very watchable

Brian and Charles ****
Whimsical tale of Brian: a loner with Heath Robinson inventiveness. Makes a robot (Charles) who is obliging at first, then gets impatient. Touching love story subplot. Good idea for a sketch – may not scale up to feature film. But lots of charm

Barbie ****
Gender oppression challenged when one uneasy Barbie is ported from BarbieLand (delightful!!) to the real world (er, Los Angeles?!) for enlightenment. Revolution in BarbieLand on return: Squabbling Kens come off badly. Idiocy carrying a cultural message. Good gags, often witty, loosing pace at times.

Oppenheimer ****
Smart physicist persuaded to recruit for big bomb build. To end big war. Bad blood between scientists and politicians. Making bomb a bit drawn out.  Final political machinations expressed with compelling style. Cameos to identify and discuss. Women thinly sketched. Frequent visual staccatos – plus noisy score (imax)

Transit ****
Landscape-blind wartime resistance story. Chap makes risky journey to deliver manuscript to author’s wife. Wife ignorant of husband’s death. Visa authorities mistake chap for the author. So he assumes that identity. But – fool – he falls for bereaved (still unknowing) wife. Such tangled relationships can only end badly, 

Sansho the bailiff ****
Medieval mum and two kids journey to seek exiled but honourable father. Captured, enslaved. But, later, fortune allows son to escape. Returns to free fellow slaves. Sadly, nothing turned out well for rest of his family. Highly stylised Japanese choreography of everyday life renders action compelling

Kansas City ****
Prohibition era white kid rashly steals from black gambling hood – severe revenge threatened. Kid’s doll attempts rescue by kidnapping bigtime politician’s wife. Their chaotically mad union is heart and strength of movie.  Altman inserts great celebrity jazz, for real – no miming

The Earrings of Madame de … ****
Husband’s gift selfishly traded on a merry-go-round of secret ownership – one that complicates our heroine’s passion for her husband’s friend. Difficult to close the ownership circle cleanly, so one does wonder what happens to those left alive

Fail-Safe ****
Can war-managing computers (1965!) be trusted not to make mistakes? Oops… US nuclear bombers heading for Moscow!! Will President Henry Fonda explain that away and save us?? Tense and thoughtful stuff

Days of Heaven ****
The wandering misfit couple trope: they take up work on turn-of-century Texas megafarm. Love triangle erupts. Celebrates Film as (very) rich visual spectacle, (so don’t expect deep characterisation)

3 faces ****
Famous TV actress hunts down anonymous stalker/fan kid into Iranian countryside – with her (laid back) driver. Fan/fame dynamic is marginalised in favour of closely observing communication in remote mountain culture

Aferim ****
Pair of bounty hunters seek their victim within 19th century Romanian gypsy slave culture. Beautiful (but modern) black and white rendition of their venture – with much Don Quixote/Sancho Panza style outrageous pre-woke banter

Incredible but true ****
Surreal comedy of manners around a sort-of time machine in basement of French couple’s new house. Machine that could, for example, make you younger. Think Bunuel. Missed chances perhaps but Euro-humour carries it along at pace

Fremont ****
Afghan ex-translator refugee marooned in Californian small town. Gets job writing fortune cookies. This and other whimsy creates gentle (monochrome) tale around the challenge of cultural adaptation

Voyage to Italy ****
1940s struggle of middle-class English couple visiting Italy with failing marriage. Greatly influenced French New Wave – so nothing much happens, But delivered with compelling ennui

Samsara ****
Visually stunning tale around a reincarnation. No actors, talk overheard, but not a documentary. From young monks in Laos to seaside community in Zanzibar. Features eyes-closed 10 minute audience participation

Sweet smell of success ****
Famous, powerful but mean New York columnist (Walter Winchell?) creepily protects his attractive sister from affections of a jazz musician. Musician’s over-eager and shallow agent gets bullied. Frantic 50’s street scenes.

What happened was … ****
One room, two characters – theatre masquerading as cinema. But, why not? Lonely pair struggle to communicate, with him not realising it was a date. Funny,  Sad. Very Manhattan. 

Do not expect too much from the end of the world  ****
Corporate media company go-fer’s fast-paced free associations on politics and life while driving around drab Bucharest. And projecting Tictok crazies when not doing that. Deeply engaging, except the overstretched final 30 mins

The secret in their eyes  ****
Retired Argentinian prosecutor revisits unpunished rapist/murderer. 20-year recalling alongside female sidekick who became his senior (but, sadly, not his lover). Enacted scenes from his novel of past events create (challenging) meta-narrative. Rom-crime edge-of-seat stuff.

The tragedy of Macbeth  ****
Scottish general led into tragic regicide by prophetic visions of twisted old hags. Ambitious wife stirs things up in a black and white framing that is visually dramatic. American accents can be hard to take at times.

Dogville  ****
Young woman on the run from gangsters stumbles into tiny, remote US town. Volatile toxicity of gothic inhabitants slowly erodes her relentless kindness. Human nature compellingly exposed in the skeletal theatre of a sound stage.

Drunken angels ****
In dank, seedy, rural post-war Japan good doctor has his own problems while ministering to anarchic self-destruction of bloke with TB. Many cultural expectations undone while doing so. Much rain.

Robot dreams ****
Cartoon dog befriends cartoon robot (who has dreams). Whimsical, amusing, tender, but a bit too long

Gaslight ****
The story behind the modern act, dark villain Boyer ruthlessly unsettles Ingrid Bergman wife while suspicious (but unlikely) cop Joseph Cotton looks on. Great noire film that ends a bit flat.

Sasquatch Sunset  ****
Bigfoot family group act out the dramas and bodily routines of their neanderthal lifestyle in lush forest. Humorous, sad, touching, no language spoken (although indicative grunts), no other people. Be patient and then you connect.

Totem  ****
Deeply engaging child drifts through the circus of a Mexican family party for her young but seriously ill father, quietly observing. Often funny, claustrophobic, but fly on wall is well rewarded

All of my friends hate me   ****
Comedy-horror (‘horror’ status strictly psychological). Prepare for your constant cringing and perhaps even empathy, as hapless Brit lad is oddly messed about by bantering old friends celebrating (?) his birthday in remote country manor

One to one: John and Yoko  ****
Their New York years of protest lovingly centred on the only complete Lennon concert captured. Filmed in frantically cut tiktok style

Ossessione (obsession)  ****
Mutually obsessed 1940s Italian couple struggle with fallout from disposing of her husband. Stylish acting from her and filming that lingers on the fine texture of everyday routine as well as self-doubt

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Preparations to be Together for an Unknown Period of Time ***
Attractive Hungarian neurosurgeon impulsively leaves USA to re-kindle once brief encounter with fellow surgeon. Street meeting follows. “Sorry, but who are you?” he asks unexpectedly! Is she mad? Hitchcock? Moody. But (first-time) actress steers us forwards.

A human position ***
Laid back beautiful Norwegian townscape, barely populated except for young lesbian couple – one of whom makes chairs (see title) but journalist partner is alienated. Yet across very stretched out time she comes round. Peaceful existence resumes. At one point they actually do watch paint dry

The Player ***
Overlong Altman dark comedy in which unlikeable Hollywood exec is plagued by poison pen postcards loosely linked to rejected writer. Studio politics and tiresome cameos obstruct simple but compelling narrative. Appropriately self-referential ending.

Return to Seoul ***
Troubled French adoptee young woman returns to Korean origins. Hesitantly seeking parents. Oppressive dad thus unearthed creates stress. Identity movie in the modern mode. (Amateur) in main role makes for compulsive viewing – albeit as highly unlikeable character for 3/4 of the movie. But then happy ending.  Or is it?

Tony Takitani ***
Minimalist and brooding Japanese take on a struggle with loneliness. Camera slides between montages, while a narrator helps unfold and resolve one man’s predicament with his new-found wife: who reveals addiction to clothes shopping. All this against much sparse piano score.

Miracle in Milan ***
Innocent but amiable young hero mobilises large tramp community to protect their ‘commons’ city rough ground from evil developers. Charming black and white mix of radical post war politics and fantasy magic. OK, special effects are dated and hero can be irritating. But Fellini circus style wins.  Big finish at Duomo!

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives ***
Dying Thai farmer sees out last hours with family members – including ghosts who join in (to no one’s surprise). Film meanders in ghostly way itself, perhaps in places taxing patience. Visually striking though.

The spirit of the beehive ***
Engaging exploration of childhood mind through young sisters in 1940 rural Spain – metaphors of civil war lurk. Charming, while a little dark.  And ponderous in places. Grainy 1975 film stock a bit irritating even if it does echo the trauma theme of sister once seeing Frankenstein film

You will die at twenty ***
Muslim elder tells poor Sudanese kid he will die at 20. Time passes. Dad couldn’t take it: leaves home. Kid becomes literate/religious. Meets Hemingway character. Crises of identity. A clever central theme acts as vehicle for visually dramatic setting and window on unfamiliar culture. Otherwise story a bit silly.

Ordet ***
Danish intensity of the quasi-Bergman variety among family in which son believes he is Jesus. He gets a chance to prove it – but against a background of intense cross family religious rivalry. But pleasingly claustrophobic

Les dames du bois de Boulonge ***
Despite Bresson’s invention, its not a very satisfying watch. Jilted women sets up jilter by fixing a relationship temptation she supposes he cant resist. He will unknowingly be disgraced. Chap is a twat. Set-up whore seems terribly nice. All ends quite tidily

Summer Interlude ***
Bergman! Ballerina can’t stop thinking about the boy she met on the ‘summer interlude’ (where he died) – after (and later) gets sent his diary (but why? and who sent it we wonder?).  She dwells therefore (too much) on the boy’s arbitrary and accidental demise.

Night and the city ***
1950s black and white British Noire in which naive, fantasising wide-boy Richard Widmark takes on (with unrealistic ambitions) the East End wrestling world . Charming but daft girl friend tries to protect him, despite nice boy upstairs who is the one who properly loves her.  Skilful filming though.

Aftersun ***
Likeable kid goes on holiday with confused and separated father. Spliced in are the reflections of years later and stuff about the father kid never really knew – as she was too busy coming of age. 

Official competition ***
Penelope Cruz makes film about making films, where events evolve around her. Actors act out acting against a thinly-populated stark rehearsal landscape. Rivalries flare. Nicely composed scenes in which tense relations unfold

Hester Street ***
Russian Jewish emigre chap cultivates Americana at turn of century. His Russian wife arrives (with child) and is less impressed. Follow them through engaging street scenes as the (frankly unpleasant) chap struggles with tension arising from reunion with his (nevertheless likeable) partner.

EO ***
Discarded donkey forced into unprotected nomadic life. Sad encounters with the worst of humanity – “who are the real ‘beasts’?” we ask. A sequence of unconnected episodes is rescued by the very photogenic quality of EO’s journey through the Polish landscape.

The day the earth stood still ***
Alien visiting 50’s USA is dismayed by its moral ineptitude. Only a woman, a child and a scientist heed the alien’s warnings of earthly doom. His weary exit speech: (roughly) “shape up or die – you’re just as stupid about aliens as you are about communists”. Daft, yet great sets, filming, and politics.

Here is your life ***
Over-long early1900s tale of Swedish adolescent’s coming-of-age through his politicisation within the industrialisation of local logging traditions. Good supporting characters but he is dead dull. Redeemed by some decent filming of landscape.

Maestro ***
Bradley Cooper fest on Leonard Bernstein’s life – a life apparently dominated by chain smoking and unhelpful homosexual impulses. But well acted (barring pantomime conducting). Bit long though (especially the dying bit)

Amanda ***
Italian young woman’s struggle to find friends converges on troubled relationship with eccentric and reclusive peer. The surreal, unpredictable and ‘no-arc’ account of  Amanda’s meanderings can be frustrating … but, finally, it rather engages you to her

Silver linings Playbook ***
Bi-polar chap (but mainly manic) seeks post-therapy reconciliation with estranged wife. Oh dear, gets distracted by overtures of feisty stranger. US suburban rom-com with much shouting, running, dancing, hugging

Slacker ***
No-narrative experiment: a sequence of outdoor dialogue episodes. New character(s) pick up the baton from current ones, move film on. And disappear. All are 90s bored, alternative, youths in featureless Austin university suburb. Idea works! (but inevitably low confidence ‘actors’)

Killers of the flower moon ***
White oil men chase land income earned by Native Americans. Murderers loot assets and inheritances arising from inter-marrying. FBI sorts things out. Pretty, but such a long movie should not have such a meandering story, nor such limited characterisation

In a lonely place ***
Hollywood on Hollywood. Bogart as laconic screen writer implicated in murder. This renders nice new girlfriend suspicious. A tale definitely better suited to Hitchcock’s skills. This one flounders towards rather unsatisfying terminus

Ugetsu ***
Two 16^th century Japanese family men each rashly set off into ever-waring landscape: one to be Samurai, the other to be marketplace rich. OK, distinguished 50s movie – and, visually, it does cast you into a traditional watercolour. But mediaeval Japan is, as ever, a hard ask for filmgoers

The rules of the game ***
Jean Renoir presents the excesses of pre-war upper class Parisians at a weekend chateau party. A carnival of love triangles and Marx brothers farce. Engaging, but such a package travels poorly across time.

Anatomy of a fall ***
Man dies from fall: novelist wife suspected of murder. Good theatre, less good cinema. Acted (at length) in typically eccentric French courtroom. Anatomy of a relationship – masquerading as whodunit. Boy and his dog is key to both

Nostalgia ***
Wayward youth flees  Naples after murdering. Returns years later a noble success. But his former accomplice is now ignoble and dangerous. Can charismatic priest, with pantomime youth club, protect our hero? Good on Naples: but nostalgia makes no sense

Celine and Julie go boating ***
There is boating – well, in the last 5 minutes. For 3 hours proceeding, Celine and Julie mysteriously enter and exit the Wonderland narrative of another story. Watch for its seminal influence perhaps – but not in one sitting.

El Sur ***
Coming-of-age Spanish child struggles with clues as to her dad’s past. Neglected but compelling topic. While child is charming and inquisitive, dad’s past remains clouded. Much viewer gap-filling needed

The wrong man ***
A serious Hitchcock takes on Kafka. Poor chap wrongly arrested for robbery by oppressive cops. Glacial dwelling on the noire-ish confusion of he and his wife. Rushed ending. Frankly, it needed to be more Kafka-esque

Aguirre, the Wrath of God ***
Carry on up the Amazon with Spanish rogues on rafts. Herzog’s claustrophobic tale of pointless peril with colourful characters that sometimes veer a bit towards the Python space

Monster ***
Unwise relationship between two boys stirs up ‘monstrous’ reactions from peers at Japanese primary school – which we view from various perspective and, therefore, share much confusion

All of us strangers ***
The catharsis of an adult re-visiting long-dead parents to discuss concealed childhood sexuality. A 4-character fantasy awkwardly interleaved with vivid scenes confirming the chap’s sexuality today. 

The hitch-hiker ***
Its 1953, when two chaps going fishing might feel ok picking up a psycho hitch-hiker in the USA desert. Good performances but 70 minutes is a long ride for sustaining repeated moments of near escape

Lies we tell ***
Young Irish heiress competes with wicked uncle nominated as guardian and her wicked, letching, hysterical cousins – plus their wicked governess. Much struggling of Good against Evil. Might work as TV box set

Blind chance  ***
Three stories delivered in engaging naturalistic style and weaving around the same Soviet era Polish chap running after the same train and an uncertain political identity

To have and have not ***
Likeable boatman Bogart runs does pickup for Vichy government resistance worthies – raising money to run off with youthful Lauren Becall, while Hoagy Carmichael plays piano Casablanca style

Certain women  ***
Three elongated, closely-observed vignettes focus on three unrelated slightly troubled women in rural mid-America. Nuance detectors need to be on full beam. Laura Dern always good.

Janet Planet  ***
Daughter Lacy is far more compelling than mother Janet in this plot-free lingering on the pair’s life in rural, sunny USA. A few supporting players confuse us. Charming, but only for the first 90 minutes

I am love  ***
Faultless Tilda Swinton escapes from the claustrophobic gentility of Italian upper glass industrialist family. Confuses herself by making it irreversibly  with handsome and creative young chef. Family not at all pleased. 

The outrun  ***
Young city  woman with big drink problem seeks another recovery by returning to childhood Orkney. Too much random bursts of time travelling but great performances and robust scenery

All we imagine as light  ***
Lives of three troubled women intersect in the bustle of Mumbai. Long stares. But things are later made settled at seashore calm

When autumn falls  ***
Family tension in French rural idyll. Elderly pair of widows grapple with the damaged but troublesome behaviours of their respective offspring. Multiple possible endings

An autumn afternoon  ***
Aging Japanese chaps worry about their longer term prospects in absence of wives or married daughters. Visually realised with quiet elegance characteristic of the (50s) cultural setting

Cairo conspiracy  ***
Hapless rural lad drawn into sinister power struggle for leadership of his elite Islamic university. Visually dramatic arenas but populated by rather unlikeable characters

Delicious  ***
!8^th century rural Frenchie applies much butter to his cooking (and much heat to his emotions) only to accidentally create the first modern ‘restaurant’. Just in time for the Revolution!

I’m still here  ***
Perfect life of perfect Rio family disrupted by Dad getting called for ‘questioning’. Brave mum takes on the fascists, ensuring her subsequent celebrity and family’s happiness ever after (although not for Dad)

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Le Pere de mes Enfants (or Father of my children) **
Head of failing film company much loved by pretty, polite, perfect Paris family. Business stress pushes him to tragedy. Can plucky (Italian) wife rescue his business? No. But family head off to live perfectly in Bologna. Film-maker makes film about film making.

The quiet girl **
Just a bit too quiet to be credible. Poor thing: trouble follows her every move. And then, after bonding with foster family, would you believe it….her wretched father takes her back to her wretched starting point. (Or is the film actually about the foster father’s reawakening?)

A man escaped **
French resistance fighter is determined to escape prison camp.  We watch lingering details of his every ingenious strategy to bring it off – albeit with typically skilful Bresson scrutiny. Gaol partner joins him – title is a spoiler alert

Appropriate behavior **
Mixed up Persian young woman cuts loose from traditional family amid metropolitan decadence and sexual experimentation. Still rather boring.

Empire of Light **
Sentimental celebration of cinema set in meticulously crafted but strangely deserted 1960s seaside Britain.  Troubled Olivia Coleman falls for black guy who comes to work in old-school cinema staffed by likeable characters. Several opportunities for an ending yet still drags on and on.  

The wonder **
18th century teenage Irish country girl manages not to eat. Possessed, or fraud? Urban nurse comes to observe. Intriguing story ponderously delivered. A few striking images, but not enough – given the service of the landscape and the novel story. Backward Irish people come off badly.

Enemy **
Humourless history lecturer darkly stumbles into his feisty (actor) doppelganger. What can it mean – and will their partners know the difference? Engaging tension .. but occasional appearance of vast black spiders imply that we are in the Twilight Zone. Only one denouement possible.

The Cordillera of dreams **
Rambling documentary focussed on dramatic and slightly mysterious landscape of mountains that border Chile. Several voices reinforce the marvel (which it is)

Licorice Pizza **
Coming of age in the California valley. Likeably unglamorous teen couple get up to all sorts of stuff. Amusing at times

Ministry of fear **
Rather wooden Ray Milland accidentally wanders into wartime UK Nazi spy community. Fritz Lang fans may like the visuals. Fans of a good yarn may be disappointed

Les Enfants Terribles **
Young bother sister pair live together in fifties Paris flat: this creepy sibling relationship fares poorly when new female lodger arrives – with appearance resonances to earlier attachment drama in the lad’s life. Film est assez terrible.

Northfork **
Dark, mysterious (and confusing) tale of a team persuading Montana old locals to evacuate in preparation for a reservoir. Credit for mood and for compelling landscape – but episodic, too long, and too much dwelling on mysterious angels.

Waiting Women **
Ingmar Bergman observes three Swedish women, hanging out waiting for husbands, while exchanging marital infidelity secrets – at great length.

Baghdad cafe **
A feel-good tale: odd German lady arrives at Californian desert café, imposes order, finally wins the hearts of pantomime locals. Apparently, a movie much loved by many

Close **
Two intelligent, cute, Belgian boys in (OK, its beautifully filmed) close friendship. Innocent, but judged ‘too close’ by school peers. Tension…tragedy. But: is film’s prolonged dwelling on grief, guilt, redemption in childhood exploitative? Much weeping. Finally, perhaps .. just a bit boring (there I’ve said it)

Full time **
Single mum, delayed alimony, long commute, Paris strikes, job stress .. So fast jump cuts and pulsing music reinforce the frenzy of her effort to cope. But such a relentless and unforgiving succession of everyday life obstacles gets a bit wearing for us as well  

The red shoes **
Why is this 1940’s UK film so highly praised? Hopefully for the inventive, engaging (but long) dance designs. Not the po-faced acting and dumb story

Bob Marley: One love **
Christ-like Marley figure in bio-pic with various pantomime support characters. Some Rasta banter needs subtitles. Much ganga lubricates the music making. Music is best part, even if its clumsily weaved into the drama – which oddly excludes his 11 children

The Innocent **
French-rom-com-heist that draws unlikely people into unlikely capers that raise money for consolidating an unlikely relationship between a middle aged theatre woman and a cool ex-con

Poor things **
Dr Frankenstein releases an identity struggle on Wonderland. Think Terry Gilliam meets Derek Jarman (at some length)

Leave her to heaven **
Tragic and implausible 40’s  melodrama in which woman obsessively loves a man who resembles her dead, much-loved father. Her family are unimpressed by suffocating possessiveness.  What could go wrong?

The double life of Veronique **
Quirky Polish/French doppelganger story with some quirky filming. A messy kind of storytelling that is easy to mess up.  Which they do.

Cemetery of Splendour **
Hospitalised soldiers won’t wake up. Local woman has telepathic contact with their dreams. Kingdom of ancient Thai Spirits underneath the hospital ground. But just not quite weird enough to keep you awake

To Joy **
Lead violinist so preoccupied with self that charming second violinist slips through his fingers – leaving much sorrow and reminiscing. Bergman extracts performances from female leads even if it’s all a bit silly

La Chimera:  **
Dour Brit detectorist dowser leads Fellini-esque locals in carnival grave robbing of Etruscan treasures – while pondering his Lost Loved One

The Beast ** 
Our heroine must be purged of emotion (in AI-future). Requires to-and-fro in time (era) with her wooden partner, creating some occasional strong but momentary visual images.  Mad and confusing.

La Samourai  **
Po-faced Alain Delon stares at  us blankly while running down whoever hired him as a hit man. Cool mac, cool hat, many Gitanes, gormless detectives, and a mysterious night club singer

My favourite cake **
Spirited but aging Iranian lady identifies lonely taxi driver for gentle seduction. Amidist clumsy swipes at regime, they laugh, they dance, they connect. Charming two person drama of far-fetched and doomed romance

Sleep  **
Young Korean women spooked by husband’s eccentric nightly wandering. Occupied by ghost of dead neighbour? Or just sleepwalking? Make your own mind up after violent finale.  Sleep-inducing yarn filmed in half light.

Pain and Glory  **
Distinguished, Spanish, dormant and angst-ridden film director revisits (with us) his past history exorcising stuff all over the place.

A real pain  **
Parted but affectionate cousin pair join holocaust tourist group to honour grannie’s memory. One winds everybody up (is a pain).  But he is troubled lad (with pain).  Partner struggles with him. So did I

Love life  **
Sudden domestic tragedy reconfigures relationships in young Japanese couple’s troubled family. Characters as flat and vacant as their suburban landscape.

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Wet Sand *
Georgian movie exposing traditional seashore folk’s prejudices about homosexual relationships. Surly 20-something granddaughter of one (closet) deceased offender visits them. She walks in and out of rooms giving everyone long silent stares. Fair diversity point: but seaside folk rendered dopes.

First cow. *
Two 19th century whimsical US gold prospectors find unexpected (if unlikely) prosperity from street marketing their quirky cooking talent. Success requires stealing milk from nearby cow. Cow owned by rich colonialist type. He not amused. Construct your own ending – but it doesn’t look happy.

Happening *
French teenager unexpectedly needs abortion. Difficult role made engaging but others around her less so. Good sense of being trapped in a rash mistake. Too much dramatic impact located in the abortion scenes for me – but i may be too squeamish

The lost king *
Sally Hawkins movies should not be this disappointing. Tale of Richard-obsessed archaeological amateur is told so as to (unfairly) make all around her look stupid. The ending being so widely known doesn’t  help with tension. Occasional appearances of the King himself are plain daft.

Murmur of the heart *
Coming of age of irritating French teenager with even more irritating siblings, father, and mother. Unfunny euro-humour works towards a climax that (spoiler alert – but its already spoiled by the director) ends in silly incest

Daughters of the dust *
Remote island historical fantasy: multi-generational black family act out their culture/history. Ballet-like, projecting a state of being rather than narrative. Adopts the too-generous style of “dream-like” – therefore not easy to share (or follow). Irritating musical score invokes travelogue documentaries.

The Passenger *
Antonioni (in colour) recruits Jack Nicolson to act as journalist in third world. He swops identity with dead colleague to start life again. Wife finally discovers – not amused. Pretty girl car passenger flits in and out of the action – for no good reasons but it is she who defines the title.

Top gun maverick *
Ok, we can agree that its all pure bollocks but the predictability of personality and story can make for a wearisome experience. Does Tom Cruise actually believe in any of the values or virtues of these tales – as enthusiastically as he does the stunts?

Women Talking *
Group of women in 19^th century religious community argue about history of their sexual abuse – and what to do next. One quiet but smart (gay) man oversees. Highly charged and endless debates in large barn. Quite improper to find it tedious.  But it is. 

Paris Blues *
Paul Newman plays out fantasy of being a jazz musician (with black fellow musician) in 50s/60s Paris. Two young but daft US women tourists break into their world but director lacks nerve to play the race card intelligently and relationships go nowhere. Like the film.

L’ argent *
Bresson has made brilliant films. But this isn’t one of them. Novice French actors variously improvise dialogue around the evils of money. City comes off much better than the story

Coherence *
Passing comet projects dinner party 30-somethings into Schrodinger’s Box. Thereby, multiple doppelgangers from multiple worlds unknowingly intersect.  This ensures angry doppelganger exchanges among guests with pre-existing and messy emotional ties. As dull and confusing as quantum physics itself

They live *
Man finds magic sunglasses. They make visible the messages (and agents) of Dr No style world takeover. Salvation follows the mayhem of our hero’s tedious street shootouts. ‘Cult classic’ status perhaps because anticipatory resonances with Deep State and QAnon. Acting is so bad its upsetting

Zero fucks given *
Fly-on-wall of disaffected, instagramming, 20-something air hostess – who enacts awfulness of that job. As boring as being stuck in an air terminal

Sullivan’s travels *
1940s film director seeks authentic experience by anonymously living among hobos. But wannabe starlet unknowingly hooks up with him on the street. Just not funny enough. And Veronica Lake – truly dreadful actress

Saint Omer  *
The existential crisis of a pregnancy… cultural crises of a Senegalese woman in France… empathy induced between oppressed women… what is there not to endorse? Everything – in this flat, boring, and silly infanticide courtroom story

Paperhouse *
Boundaries between a young girl’s world, her dreams and her drawing get fuzzy. In the resulting strange and menacing hyper-world there lives a sad, crippled boy. Unfortunately, it was all more silly than scary. And both kid and her mum needed an acting coach  

American Fiction *
Black, middle-class, novelist/ex-academic struggles with how his race celebrates toxic self images. Totally improbable black folk (and white folk) made to behave stupidly. Daytime TV-com

Perfect days *
Wim Wenders’ ethnographic account of one man’s working day – silently but fastidiously cleaning Tokyo toilets. Man is good, city is shiny, days are perfect, music is cool, film is patience-testing

Ariana  *
Holiday Inn escape craft stranded in space. Passengers descent into madness allows much versatile sex. Talented gay heroine challenges brutish captain but still fails to save the day. 

The world to come  *
Love at unlikely first sight for two Victorian farmer’s wives, whose dress and literacy is more Manhattan than blighted US countryside. Much weeping and whining behind backs of harmless husbands. Can’t end happily.

Bloodsuckers  *
Its 1928 and exiled Soviet actor wanders German landscape posing as aristocrat, finally integrating with crazy factory-owning woman and her anarchic circle. The illusion of narrative is undone at every available turn and at great length.

Black bag  *
Which of 5 spooks is the traitor (and, for depth, how does professional deceit also arise in their sexual pairings)? Grownup roles laughably occupied by super-cool actors with super-cool wardrobes in super-cool buildings. Embarrassing. 

Nickel Boys  *
Tragic tale of physical abuse to black teenagers in odd Florida school. Time switches, inaudible dialogue and irritating point-of-view camera work will confuse you (at unnecessary length) 

Conclave  *
Papal election ponderously documented in conference hotel version of Vatican. Candidates, lefties vs Trumpies or drink issues, corruption, and secret offsprings. Absurd hand-of-god moment. Then awkward winner. Moving speeches, vivid drone shots.